My health isn’t the best at the moment. It was revealed that I have Type 2 Diabetes and I’m not managing it as well as I should. Part of the reason is I’m having the hard time understanding this manageable but still terrifying disease. I went through a denial stage and now I’m at the I-don’t-want to die or lose a limb and what about my baby stage. It’s scary but I have to do something. It’s not an option anymore for me NOT to eat healthy.

On the debt end of this- the sole purpose of this blog is that I haven’t accrued any new debt but I haven’t taken care of any old debt either. I’m hoping that my tax return will take care of things and I won’t splurge on any non baby related things. I don’t have a debt repayment plan in place. I just want to go with what was working before I lost all common sense and back tracked. We’ll see right?

There may be the pitter patter of little feet in our household soon. I’m only a day late and I have no intentions of peeing on a stick right away. I really want to make sure since my cycle has been a little irregular lately. I know it’s TMI, but you should feel honored because I haven’t shared the news with the bf just yet. I can’t until I know for sure. At any rate if I am I feel blessed and if not then that’s okay as well. It’s all in God’s hands and I trust in him with everything that goes on in my life.

The hardest part about all of this is just realizing that all of the nonsense could have been avoided.

I didn’t grow up knowing anything about bills or 401(k) or any of that and I’m a bit resentful because of it. My mother told us that money comes and goes and you have to live in the now and enjoy it and what it can do for you. She never once said that there would be bouts of unemployment or hard times or even the need to go on public assistance–something she never told us she experienced.

I don’t want to spend my life dwelling on the fact that from the time I was conceived I was financially destined to fail. I want to move forward and change the writing of my children’s history.

I’m about to create a spreadsheet to track my creditors and payments and such. The boyfriend has agreed that we would go into this together- hopefully while we repair the damage and rebuild our credit we’ll be working on a future together. Time will tell.

I’ve expressed my desire to be joint on his account and he turned me down. He said that we could open an account together and then put money into-that in my opinion seemed like too much of a hassle so I declined. Sometimes I think there’s something he’s hiding, but it may just be a guy thing. I don’t know, but I’m ready to complete school and find a job (in total reverse order at this point) and have my own. Depending on someone that isn’t my husband (and I couldn’t depend on me him either) leaves me feeling some kind of way and I don’t like it.

I should have waited before moving in with him. I should have secured a job, created a solid savings account, I should have done a lot of shit that I didn’t, but life is one fucked up lesson learned so…I digress.

I keep coming up with ideas to keep my mind on the fact that I’m in debt and need a job as a way of motivating me to find work and try harder, but the doors are constantly being slammed in my face. I HAVE to go ahead and graduate college even though I’m far from optimistic about a degree being able to get me a decent paying job. Hell at this point 30,000 a year will suffice.

However, I digress. In the meantime I’m going to occupying every minute of my day by doing something beneficial to my well-being. Besides hitting the pavement with resume in hand and burning the midnight oil for a college degree -I’m going to workout, attempt to eat better, and find a shit load of free things for the kids and I do. My intentions are to grow closer to my not so little ones because my youngest just turned 9 and though I want another I have to get my shit together first.

Wish me luck and a sane mind please!

The boyfriend seems to be committed to getting out of debt as a couple, but I’m still in the mind-frame of being single and having to overcome this obstacle on my own. If we were married I’m sure I would feel differently, but we’re not so I don’t.

Once I find a job I’m going to go back to sending out debt validation letters just to make sure that the creditors are legally allowed to collect in my state of residence, not to mention sometimes they don’t even own the debt and will try and capitalize on the fact that consumers aren’t informed of that.

Next I’ll send the usual pay for deletes and hope that they’ll agree to remove the debt once it’s paid. I don’t know how successful that will be, but I have to give it a shot. Other than using the snowball method (pay smallest debt first) I don’t have a game plan. I just want to be rid of this once and for all.

I’ve been reading a lot of pf blogs and books and they suggest that we pay ourselves first, but in all honesty I can’t afford to do that right now. (

I’ve given up the dream of owning a home by the time I’m 30. My finances are far from being in order and I don’t believe that a year is enough to get it to where it needs to be. I’m not done with school and have no real career to even think I can afford a mortgage, and if the boyfriend and I get married we won’t be in one place long enough to enjoy having a home since he’s military. I don’t mind the latter though. It’s stability for the unstable at this point. And goodness knows we’re unstable.

Obviously I’m no longer married which is a blessing in my eyes, but I’m still very much in debt. Living as a single mom with one income has been difficult so I’ve accumulated more debt on top of what I had to begin with and I did it to stay afloat. Also my divorce wasn’t pleasant which lead to a financial warfare leaving me with some (but not all) of our shared debt.

I’m working on a game plan to get out of debt, set some reasonable and obtainable goals and hopefully in the next few years I’ll be in the black instead of the red for once in my life.

On my agenda for the next few months (prayerfully shorter) is to find employment. I’m living with my boyfriend who also has debt that is extremely minimum. Because he’s military we’re living on the military base which saves us a great deal of cash. I’ve grown use to staying at home for the majority of the day with the kids so part-time is ideal though realistically I should be and am looking for full time.

While I’m searching for a job I want to set up a budget for us based on his income. This seems to be hard because we’re not married and there are certain aspects of his life that’s sheltered from me such as his finances. He shares with me some but not all. That- also is another post for another day. Let’s just leave it at this: I don’t want to go into another marriage until we’re both financially stable.

I’m trying to commit to blogging at least once a week. I’ll update the info on my side bars and hopefully share what I’m learning as I go. I decided not set an exact date of when I will get out of debt. I just want to focus on understanding and overcoming all of it and that in itself may take some major time. Wish us luck (he’s agreed to get out of debt with me)! We’ll need it!!

I saw a sign at Bath and Body Works for a part time position. If I can work on the weekends that would be great. I’m thinking of going out and applying on my way home.

I’m divorced now and already in a new relationship with my first love from high school. It’s long distance so I won’t even tell you how that’s going. I’ve promised myself  that I would blog every other day. I have a personal blog at musingsofachocolategirl.com but it’s nothing to write home about. I’ve been  in a funk so… the writings mediocre at best.

I quit college. The available classes at this particular school doesn’t fit with my work schedule. I’m planning to attend Xavier University’s evening program. Hopefully I’ll get my mojo back and be able to finally get this shit over with.

That’s all I got for now….

Peace Out Homie G!

Some new, but not so interesting things have taken place. I found a job!!! It’s full time so that’s awesome. It temp for six months and then goes permenant thereafter. I also am no longer in school, but I hope that changes next week. I needed a mental break from it for awhile but it’s time to get on my grind and make things happen or at least try to.

Next month (October) I’m proceeding with my divorce. My soon to be ex husband has been out of the house for quite some time so I think he knows that I mean business. I also reconnected with my high school sweetheart and I think an intense romance is forming, BUT we’ll have to just be patient and wait for that story to unfold.

Life is still a struggle, but I’m taking the usual baby steps. My debt grew a little because I needed another car, but as long as I make my biweekly payments things will be fine.

I’m going to attack the credit reports here shortly again and come up with yet another game plan seeing as how I gave up completely a few months back….so how are you guys fairing??? let me know!! i miss ya’ll